This morning started what only continued to be a bit of a strange day for me emotionally, so I felt like a crazy bule in Jakarta today, not really getting in sync with the day! I had planned to take Samudra for a morning walk but kakek was up and about when we got up, so Samudra was whisked away for an enthusiastic morning walk and play with him, so I ate some breakfast and showered as I wasn’t able to get back to sleep. By the time Samudra returned and had a quick bath, his nanny had arrived and so she took him off me and basically spent the day avoiding me or running away when she saw me so that Samudra wouldn’t cry if he saw my face. I spent the whole day sitting on my computer in the bedroom feeling awkward as every time I went outside Samudra was taken out of my sight or I was subjected to some weird competition as to who Samudra wanted to spend time with as lots of arms reached out for him, leaving the poor thing confused and in tears. My only time to spend time with him was to feed him before he was taken away from me again and I only got a chance to be alone with him just before it was time for him to go to sleep for the night.
I am eternally grateful that he is so loved, that so many people want to spend time with him, that we are so lovingly looked after, but with my lack of ability to communicate in Indonesian, I felt like today I was totally out sync with the world (is it a full moon?). I have spent so much time with him until the past two weeks, and now I feel that everyone is looking after him but me and I am not ready to let go so easily. In Indonesia, you will find many nanny’s that could easily be mistaken as the child’s parents as they are with them all day long, feed them, play with them and many are live in nanny’s so they are basically the child’s primary carer. I want to be there to witness the magic of him changing every day but have some help so that I can also be productive. I just need to find a balance.
The cutest thing did happen this afternoon though as Putra and I noticed that Samudra has a new trick, making a funny clicking sound with his mouth while raising his arm and trying to click his fingers. It seems he has been around the birds in the cages outside so much and this is the trick he has learnt to try and get their attention. Bless.
I hope you had a beautiful day wherever in the world you are.